grumpyoldmen

Greece Is The Word!

It seems like every politician these days wants to give Greece advice on how to run their government, David Cameron being the latest to stick his oar in.

If only politicians had been so ready to tell banks how to run their businesses 5-6 years ago, or the EU hadn't allowed countries such as Greece to fudge their financial figures to join the Euro in the first place.

Besides the irresponsible bankers, the gamblers on the world's stock markets have much to answer for as well.   No one blames the stock market for driving the world economy even faster down the plug hole, often with speculation on such things as oil and corn (driving up the prices further) which produces nothing except misery for the masses. 

 

The economy in my town

Took a further bashing, not because another shop on the high street closed….

But because a budding internet entrepreneur had £11,000 of his products nicked from his apartment.   The local newspaper reported that 4 suitcases containing sex toys had been stolen,

and then went on to describe the suitcases in some detail!

http://www.kidderminstershuttle.co.uk/news/9704013.Sex_toys_worth___11k_stolen_from_Stourport_flat/?ref=ms

Anyone with information about this theft can call Crimestoppers anonymously on 0800-555-111

 

Save Kidderminster Library Gallery and Performance Space

The campaign to save Kidderminster library Gallery is a coming together of the community in Kidderminster and Wyre Forest to defend the ONLY custom built Gallery and performance space we have got in the district.

The Gallery space was created in 1996 with funding from an Arts Council/National Lottery grant of £326,583. It combines an art gallery with a proper acoustically engineered performance space and the necessary humidity and temperature controls for the grand piano housed there.

Worcestershire County Council want to throw all of this away so they can turn it into offices and cram 139 social care staff in there. This decision was made back in the middle of 2011 but they never intended to properly consult with anyone over it. This is clear from their own documents, their ‘under the radar’ planning application, and the lack of meaningful engagement with either the public or their own staff. It is only after complaints from the public, communities, and unions that they made any attempt to consult, but based it on an exercise designed to give the illusion of ‘consultation’.

If the Gallery is lost, it can never be replaced. These may be tough economic times but there are other alternatives available to the council and we believe this cynical move is being made by a council who appear to be dominated by those who know the cost of everything, but the value of nothing.  

Stephen Brown from the Green party said, "This is an accounting sleight of hand to justify cultural vandalism.   In effect, they are making the library service pay for a cut in the social services budget and trashing the ONLY purpose built PUBLIC arts/performance/exhibition space in Wyre Forest at the same time."

http://www.petitiononline.co.uk/petition/save-kidderminster-library-gallery/4458

 

Woodwork Project

One night, Pinocchio's girlfriend says to him,

"This stinks, every time we make love I get splinters."

So Pinocchio goes to Gepetto to ask his advice.

Gepetto says, "Sandpaper, my boy, that's all you need."

A few days later Gepetto runs into Pinocchio and says,

"So how are you doing with the girls now?"

 Pinocchio says, "Who needs girls?"

 

Did we lose the cold war instead of win it?

Did large western companies ever worry about destroying Europe’s manufacturing base by out-sourcing to China?

Therefore we can’t easily create manufacturing jobs in the UK to help rebuild our economy, one that relies too heavily on the financial and service sectors.

If out-sourcing was such a great idea to save money, how come these companies didn’t outsource some of the directors of the company?   So we put up with second rate goods at cheaper prices.

Far too often buying clothes, electrical goods and many other items is a minefield of reading the fine print, a battle of wills for satisfaction and a deep rooted sense that the vast majority of companies no longer care about it’s customers being happy only about pleasing the shareholders and getting fat unwarranted bonuses.

 

Are you a 38 degreer?

Are you a 38 degreer?

http://www.38degrees.org.uk/

 In recent months….no probably a year I have signed every petition 38 degrees have asked me to.

Not because I’m an easy touch, or because I’m anti-establishment but because those causes struck a chord.

But the question I would like to ask all local and national politicians is why there is a need for a group like 38 degrees?   Could it be that the public in general feel disconnected with our leaders?

Last week in my home town the district council election had a despairingly low turnout of 28.9 percent.  Why is it politicians listen more to their spin doctors than they do to the voters?

As the Leveson (Hacking) inquiry runs into its 7^th month do you get the feeling that politicians and the press will be less corrupt at the end of all this?

I for one believe we need to do a lot more to teach children at school their civic responsibilities, particularly the children on the fringes of society.  Only when the voter turnout is back up to 70% plus will the politicians really start paying us more than lip service.  So definately in the short term pressure groups like 38 are very very necessary and applauded.

 

Can New Political Parties Rise From These Ashes?

We have already seen the green shoots of other political parties, the question is can they grow enough at the grass roots to organise themselves nationally?

  

My Home Town

I reckon my home town of Stourport is prime example of why the electorate feel robbed of democracy.  On the one hand our Tory dominated local district council Wyre Forest has often done things against the wishes of the people and mostly got away with it.

On May the 3^rd the balance of power may have shifted if only the other parties (Independent Liberals, Labour and Independent Community and Health Concern) can work together to break up the cartel.  That said the Labour party have a lot to answer for when their government changed the structure of district councils creating a cabinet (which in reality is more like a cabal). 

In recent times the local politicians have tried to close Stourport’s Sports and Leisure centre and relocate it out of town (which is both very un-green and stripping the town of much needed facilities. And for this be going on during a Olympic year and when other politicians are preaching on TV about the value of a town hanging on to it's facilities beggers belief.  Thankfully, due the protest a "stay of execution" has been granted.

 

On another issue local politicians have ignored laws and fenced in common land on Hartlebury Common, which I'm told has a very unique eco system.... being only one of the two inland beaches in the UK.

A local member of the Green Party Steve Brown is taking on the Government over the laws that have been ignored, but so far he is battling our just cause almost on his own.

On yet another issue the district council have allowed Tesco’s to begin building an unneeded supermarket on the already congested one way ring road, even though there is already a large 24 hours Tesco just 3 miles away in Kidderminster.   This store when open with further decimate the high street and lead to even more empty shops.

 

They also made a compulsory purchase of the only Garage in town because they wanted to redevelop part of the canal basin, so far the site now stands empty has stood empty for a year.

Even when the funds are found to redevelop the site we don’t need more shops given how many that are currently vacant on the high street.  Now the town’s people have to drive out of town to get their cars repaired.

In a time of budget austerity the Tories also choose to close our local civic center and relocate the district and town council offices out of town.  Refurbishment of the existing civic centre would have cost £5 million but building the new one is costing £10 million.  To me these things just don’t add up and go against common sense and at the very least smacks of favouritism towards certain building companies.

Someone should remind all local and national politicians that serving your country or community is an honour not a gravy train?

 

Of course there is always the press, if it works

Circulation of newspapers continue to fall, in main because we get our news from many different sources, but for years this has been aided and abetted by the press lowering of standards.

Filling our newspapers with gossip and sex scandals, instead of real news.

Trying get the local newspaper to champion the wishes of the locals against the politicians is of course a none starter…that would be too much like serving the community.  Instead it serves the narrow interests of its Conservative parent company even though its mission statement says

““Newsquest's objective is to have market-leading brands disseminating local information in a number of different and simultaneous ways, which reflect the views and aspirations of the communities they serve. Our multi-media brands must be the authoritative source of information that customers can trust; being willing to listen but not afraid to question.

 

Wacky times need Wacky government?

Here is a thought!!! Place the elderly in prisons. They will get a shower a day, video surveillance in case of problems, three meals a day, not have to worry about paying their heating bills, access to a library, computer, TV, gym ... Put criminals in nursing homes. They have cold meals lights off at 8 o'clock, one bath a week, live in a smaller room and pay 4,000 a month!    It's pretty sad that we treat prisoners better than the elderly!!!!

 

Guess What

U-turn Dave is at it again!  After saying the current government was going to scrap the planes planned for the UK’s 2 new Aircraft Carriers… he has changed his mind.  It seems that redesigning the ships so they could have American style catapult system is more expensive than just sticking with the Vertical take off planes planned by the previous government.   For good measure a lot of extra money was spent to figure this out

 

The Doctor Who Party

I know it sounds wacky because it is supposed to……

It is rumoured that the Independent Community and Health Concern Party, which was founded

by former Independent MP Dr Richard Taylor (to save Kidderminster Hospital from closure), has thoughts about becoming a new national political party. I’ve read that they are thinking putting up many doctors as candidates to reverse the much hated chances to the NHS.

I have met one local ICHC politician who just got elected to the district council.  He seemed like a very decent and reasonable man and I found during our chat we held very similar views on a lot of local issues.  I wish him all the best in bringing back common sense into the district council, but I do wish his party would think of a less lengthy name than the Independent Community and Health Concern party…so perhaps The Doctor Who Party might be a winner?

UPDATE:

As predicted on the 13th May here!!!!

Guess what the BBC reported on the 14th May

Former MP to lead new national party

Feckless, greedy immoral looters need bringing to justice!

 No, I’m not talking about the mindless gangs of young people smashing and looting English cities.  

They do indeed need tackling and given prison sentences instead of a being fined and told off.

 

I’m in-fact talking about the other end of our social spectrum.

The so-called investment bankers; who more than anyone else gambled most of the Western World into debt, which we are still dealing with 3 years on.   No one or institution has been held to account and made to pay for their criminality.  Why is it that because their stealing and thievery was on a much larger scale their sins go unpunished?

 

In the 21st century, surely there must be more done to hold those at the top of society to account if we want to lecture those at the bottom about honesty, decency and fairness.  The miss selling of insurance on loans by UK banks, for which no bank executive has been held to account for sanctioning or allowing these criminal acts.  Yes, the banks are now being forced to pay the money back but no one is going to jail or losing their job, or their bonuses for such immoral behaviour.  It's just accepted...oh well there are bankers after all.

 

In my lifetime there have been numerous national scandals, like Mad Cow disease, where dishonest and immoral behaviour (to save money and increase profit) saw cows (who are naturally vegetarian) fed meat by products from diseased sheep.  And yet I never saw any individual or company prosecuted for causing this.

 

It seems the rule of thumb… if the scandal is big enough and the prosecution of high-end wrongdoers will bring politicians and leaders into disrepute, then heaven and earth is moved to prevent this.  Look how much David Cameron and his government tried to protect Rupert Murdoch until the dam broke?

 

Currently all around the western world, stock market bond investors and speculators are causing havoc, increasing the bad debt situation by driving down share prices…just to make a killing.    I’m all for a capitalist system but one that still has a moral compass. 

 

I believe speculating on the price of oil, corn and other futures are morally wrong.  It manufactures nothing but misery for ordinary working people.   Every aspect of our lives is dominated by the unreasonable greed of others….the power companies….the price of petrol..

and on and on.  When is enough enough?

 

The divide between the rich and the poor grows ever wider because rich thieves have powerful friends.  In the words of an old rude rugby song,  “aint it all a crying shame, it’s the rich what get the pleasure and the poor that takes the blame.”

U-Turn Dave

U-Turn Dave

If times were not so serious a lot of the current government shenanigans would be laughable. A comedy scriptwriter couldn’t make it up.   Let’s first skip past the pre-election promises they did U-turns on, because lets face it politicians would promise you a night of passion with their mum if it got them elected.

David Cameron showed great reluctance for an inquiry into the hacking scandal and also resistance to calls to put the Murdoch purchase of BSkyB on hold.   But thankfully U-Turn Dave as I like to affectionately call him realised much later than the rest of us, that no action was not an option.

 

Eye of the storm

So here we are several weeks later as this story moves faster than I can type, more questions have been thrown up as each tornado hits. Like a twister tossing over everything in its wake, and a look of shock and surprise as each “important” person is spit out of its mouth, trying to stay composed as the rest of us laugh.   I definitely think born again Christians should seek an early meeting with Rupert and offer him sack cloth and ashes as suitable attire for his up coming hearings.

 

The Governments-end of year school report

Having just read the glowing school report of my young daughter, I wonder what kind of an assessment the current government would get? On issue after issue David Cameron and his ministers have made some breathtaking mistakes squarely choosing to be on the wrong side of many important issues again and again.  

The thread that runs through all of these important decisions is their lack of morality, honesty and frankly common sense.   But worse than all of this is their arrogance….. born not out of incredible talent but out of their elitist roots that convinces them they know better than the rest of us.

Important decisions including trying to sell off our ancient forests (as if the Tories or any government had the right to do so).  

Then of course it’s the NHS and trying to reform it (albeit privatise it through the backdoor) without listening to the doctors and nurses who work in it.

Then there's the recent Bombardiere train fiasco where a contract to build new trains was awarded to Siemans (a German company) and the net result will be thousands of jobs lost in and around Derby from Bombardiere and its suppliers. The German government would never award a contract to a British Company at the cost of German jobs, nor would I expect them to.

Of course lets not forget our Aircraft Carrier capabilities, the Tories have in-store for us which will see us have a Carrier but no aircraft to put on it (at least for a while). Suggesting the French might some how cooperate and provide stop gap planes for the Carrier…since when have the French (God bless them) ever put their aircraft in harms way for Britain?

 

Where the buck stops?

We know now that Mr Cameron was advised by Vince Cable and Nick Clegg not to hire Andy Colson, and sooner or later just like the other bigwigs the Prime Minister will  have to answer fully for his actions.    Why couldn’t he see that hiring News Of The World Andy was a bad move for his press secretary, after all Andy had been forced to resign from a sleazy rag, what kind of a recommendation is that, and what does that say about Mr Cameron's judgement?

Some people say that that U-Turn Dave modelled himself on Tony Blair, which if true shows the biggest lack of judgement of all.    A union friend of mine once told me he had met Tony Blair a few times before Blair became Prime Minister…. so I asked him what is he like and my friend answered “A Used Car Salesman”.

In my lifetime one can often accuse the Labour party and some of its governments of incompetence. But on the other hand unfortunately since the rise of Maggie Thatcher the Conservatives are often connected to making laws or deals that benefit their chums… Selling off many of the nationalize industries for a song, including the railways which we the taxpayer still subsidise to the tune of billions and our railways are still a bad joke.. just more expensive.

Indeed it was because of Margaret Thatcher’s changes in the law that Rupert Murdoch was able to take control of so much of Britain’s media, talk about Déjà vu.

The Big Society and other stupid phrases

 

Ode to be that chair

Ode to be a folding chair

that one there, yes I swear!

Ode to be in use like that,

to test my worth

and not squashed flat

 

 

Big Society, Quality time, Deplaning, I'm going to give it 110%!

Are these catch phrases dreamed up to shift the focus away from the real problem?

Lets face it "The Big Society" paints a vaguely rosy picture of us all (in the UK) being better more caring citizens....but by the looks of it wont be funded by anyone and thus will end up in the PR skip of has been politics.   Of course creating a Big Society should start with farness, commonsense and good examples from our leaders and others at the top of society.  But too often the example they set is one that disappoints, makes us wince and even get angry.

Our glorious leader the Prime Minister will be relaunching explaining on Valentine's Day what the Big Society is all about encase we didn't understand.  But I'd like to tell David (well we are on first name terms) that damn straight we get IT...so maybe the speech is for the benefit of the top 5% of our society which clearly don't buy into Mr Cameron's idea.

 

Surely, in a Big Society the high flyers in banking should not only not accept their outrageous bonuses, but should do 20 hours a week of community work, to heal the wounds they have caused our society.    Perhaps, feeding elderly people in cold houses because they can't afford both food and heat!  

 

Surely in Big Society local chief executives in city and county councils who have earned £2-3 million over the last 10 years or so should offer to resign rather than fire dustmen, social workers and other frontline workers?

 

Surely in a Big Society our overpaid and over rated footballers should give a lot more back to the grass roots of the game.  They all deserve to gain financial security, but £200,000 a week will destroy the game, come to that £100,000 a week is not sustainable.   In a recent landmark case a pub landlord won the right to buy her Premiership matches via a Greek cable company.  If that result is upheld in European courts and everyone can buy their cable from anywhere in Europe the Premier League gravy train may be over.

 

We may well have brave well meaning volunteers in the leafy south of the country able to keep the Libraries running but what about in the rougher parts of our inner cities?  Who will man the Library in Saltly,Birmingham?

 

The trouble with a toff like Cameron is he is well meaning but just doesn’t have a clue about how the vast majority of us Brits live...if he did he would shut his mouth and stop being so patronising.

 

Quality time

Is another similar catch phrase. If quality time is so much better who are the evil people denying us more of this wonderful stuff?    This phrase was created by our American cousins as a response to the climbing divorce rates in the 1980's.  This phrase was supposed to alleviate guilt if you were a single (divorced) parent or underline your social skills even if you were lazy or a bad parent.

 

This popular phrase branched out and spawned other derivative phrases such as  "time management, time irregularities and my favourite when under pressure to to meet a deadline and trying to concentrate... "In the zone".   The trouble with all of this gobbledegook, is we have to learn what the new phrases actually mean, which is hard to do in this fast paced life when we are so Time Poor.

 

 

Disembark ...damn it!!

There was a certain period in my life (when I had money) and thus I did quite a bit of flying by aeroplane.  But my love affair with flying began much earlier when I was eleven on my first package tour to the Costa Brava.   Back then getting off a plane was called disembarkation, as was leaving a ship.  This word seemed perfectly suitable for what it described even a little chic.  A new word for a working class lad to savour, yes I was moving up in the world.

Then somewhere in the 90's I was getting ready to disembark a 747 and a voice came over the loudspeaker and said,

"Please remain in your seats...we will be deplaning shortly".   Well, I was quietly horrified where was the elegance in deplaning?...indeed it sounds like delousing. Not even a proper word but I'm sure if it is used enough it will become one.

 

110%

Athletes began this next stupid phrase, "I'm gonna give it 110%" which of course we all know is impossible...isn’t it?  The newspaper sports writers have encouraged this misnomer, never to my knowledge pointing out that it was physically impossible to give more that 100%.  Even the slightly more intelligent pundits back in the studio felt compelled to use it.

Generally speaking this term is often used by footballers which begs the question, how much effort do you normally give? Perhaps a question for the England football team. 

Happy Valentines Day

 

UK Forest sell off....How did your MP Vote?

Last Wednesday MP's got there first chance to vote for the proposed sell of UK Forests.

How did your local MP vote on the proposed sell off of up to 15% of the UK National Forests?

If you are unsure go here       How did you MP vote?

My own MP, Conservative Mark Garnier voted for the sell off even though his constituancy is the Wyre Forest. The number of people who have signed the "Save our Forest" campaign has past  500,000 but still most Conservatives MP's voted for the sell off.

There are many people who have signed the petition and even written to their MP's but equally there a are many more who have not.   The people behind this land grab are counting on the British Public being apathetic....have you turned your outrage into action?

For the good people who have signed the petition have you asked your friends and family to sign yet? 

This isn't just about a bunch of trees as important as that is......this is about defending the rights of all of the citizens of the UK.  How can anyone party who leads the government at the moment and who only got 32.4 percent of the votes in the General Election sell off something as irreplaceable as ancient forests that belongs to the whole nation?  

This not like selling off the oil fields, water electricity or gas because those are commodities.  Our precious woodlands are not a commodity that the Tories can sell off to their buddies on the cheap.

They try to placate us with phrases like "we will make sure the public still have access etc...etc"  but how can the Conservatives sell something it does not own?  Can I come and sell your house and placate you with "we will guarantee you can still live in it?"

• A government economic study released earlier this year calculated that our forests provide £2,100 in value per hectare per year if benefits such as erosion protection, pollution absorption, carbon sequestration, health provision are included. - The Guardian
• Forests provide 167,000 jobs in Britain and have over 50 million visitors a year - more than the seaside! - UK Parliamentary Office of Science & Technology

UPDATE-Wednesday 9thFebruary, 2011

My local newspaper The Kidderminster Shuttle is conducting a vote to find out how it's readers feel about the proposed sell off.

They were asked this question:

Should the Forestry Commission retain control of our forests in order to safeguard their future.

Results

96% of people are against this.

4% are for.

http://www.kidderminstershuttle.co.uk/news/

 

 

Forest DumP?

I took this photo about 1/2 mile from my sister's house from early last spring 2010.

Since moving out to the "sticks" 6-7 years ago rural issues take on a sharper focus.

Normally, I don’t get involved or worked up about signing petitions, after is my one signature really going to make a difference?

Then I learned that the Government is planning to sell off parts of the UK’s National Forests and that was a game changer.

copyright Kevin Ashton 2010

I just could not believe it that any party whilst in government would have the nerve to sell off something irreplaceable as the National Forest.  It does not belong to any one party but to all of the people of the United Kingdom.

 

To have the arrogance to even attempt such a thing is breath taking, and undermines our democracy.   After all how can the Tories who only got 32.4 of the vote in the General election think they can get away with this?

 

Having lived outside of the UK I can tell you from personal experience, that many countries do not enjoy the freedom to roam….as we do on our footpaths.

In the US private land means keep out, and even using National parks in America cost money.

 

My own Conservative MP replied to my concerns by saying

“However, the issue at stake here is not one of ownership” and my reply was..

“I can't believe that you think who owns the National Forests is unimportant; particularly considering the Wyre Forest is in your area.

 Just because the Conservative and Liberal Democrats currently are the government does not give them the right to sell off something as irreplaceable as our ancient forests.

 No one party/custodian of the government has the right to sell off something that does not belong to you…the forests belong to all of us.  It should not sold, be logged or built on just to cut the deficit.”

In summary this is not just about the forests and who owns them it is about the arrogant elitism expressed by our new leaders and their desire to return to feudal system of a few controlling the land of the many.

Please sign this petition if you think our rights are about to be stolen; and please tell all of your friends, thank you.

Save our Forest Petition

 

 

 

Jobs that George could do

 

Just for a change, Chris and I thought with the US election just 2 days away we should all spare a thought for the out going President.  After all in many respects he has spent the last 8 years being the most important man in the world..but soon he will have to give up that power and hand over the missile launch codes to someone else.

 

Next January he’ll be scratching around itching for a new challenge.

Chris and I put our thinking caps on and came up with a bunch of useful suggestions.

Perhaps if our readers have a few suggests we can pass onto him in an email?

 

 

Jobs That George Could Do

Double-glazing salesman, because he makes me glaze over.

 

Special envoy to the EC to make sure America’s relationship with Europe remains strong?

 

Become a Washington lobbyist for some of his foreign friends

 

Go on the lecture circuit and speak about the damage that alcohol and cocaine can have on the mind and body.

 

Become a Minister for a Southern Gospel Church and speak about the damage that alcohol and cocaine can have on the mind and body.

 

Join Former President Carter’s house building project and help build houses for the new homeless of America.

 

Lobby congress for tax breaks if they own a hybrid or electric car.

 

Make sure Washington DC reaches its potential as the nation’s hottest wind farm.

 

Open a vegetarian restaurant on Capitol Hill called “Friends of Pork Barrels”

 

Design a simpler voting machine to prevent further hanging chads.

 

Invest in the future by grooming Bush children for the White House.

 

Build a legacy Bush library and stock it with big print books.

 

Become an Internet Motivational Speaker.

 

Due to its recent tarnished image form a new political party called the

New Republicans and seek advise from Tony Blair.

 

Write a best selling book, foretelling that weapons of mass destruction will be found in a remote underground complex inside the Kurdish zone of Iraq in 2012.

Evidence with also be found in the complex that Osama bin Larden occupied the complex for about 6 months in 2006.

 

Things He Should Avoid

Whilst hanging upside down in “Gravity Boots” George W became convinced that he owned MacDonald’s.

 

Write a second best selling autobiographical book called “How to be the leader of the free world for dummies”

 

Going to the remote parts of Pakistan as an Evangelical Preacher.

 

Advise his Governor brother Jeb to re-instate a hanging death penalty for anyone called Chad

 

 

 

 

 

To Rant or Not to Rant…Has that carpet always been brown?

I like a good moan once in a while. It’s great to get things off my chest and vent some spleen. But the things I, as a grumpy old man, moan about are all things I can’t personally change. I don’t mean the weather, wasps and other natural phenomena, because there’s nothing anybody can do about those, so you’re on a hiding to nothing if you fume away instead of just accepting that they are as they are.

 

No, my complaints are all about the things somebody else, or society as a whole, ought to do differently, like forcing traffic wardens to face the human consequences of their disgusting little tickets, or bringing back the death penalty, specifically for car clampers and purveyors of reality TV.

What I would never do is say to somebody else, “Don’t you dare go ahead and fix the problem until I’ve finished ranting about it”. But that’s the difference between a man-rant and a woman-rant. If it’s possible to correct a situation, I’d rather just mention it to the person who’s in a position to do something about it, and maybe I’d throw in a few helpful suggestions where appropriate. Or fix it myself if that’s possible.

Women don’t think that way. It drives them crazy if you start looking for answers before they’ve agonised about a problem in the minutest detail. The dog’s just dumped on the carpet?

 

Man solution: get some toilet paper, pick up the cack and flush it down the loo,

clean the carpet, abuse the dog, end of problem.

 

Woman solution: describe it in all its awfulness (size, smell, texture), make it perfectly clear how upset you are, hunt through all your old invoices to prove how much the carpet cost, declare that it will never be the same again, ask whose job it was to house-train the dog (yours, of course), imagine a situation where somebody comes to visit with a baby crawling across that very spot, picking up God-knows-what infections and going blind… and now comes the really clever bit. Criticise the man for just standing there while the guggy soaks into the carpet, or if he’s leapt into action already, complain that he never takes the time to really listen to you.
Not only is it impossible for the man to win in a situation like this, but at the end of it, he’ll be just as much in the dark as he ever was about ways to avoid it happening again. Chalk another one up to the little lady, even though the man isn’t playing the same game at all.

I'd pay for the old boot to join the Bingo club if I could only find one in Timbuktu.

Ah. that's better.

 

Concrete Penis and is Pokey too popular? What a Cock up!

 A fellow blogger, a nice lady found a concrete penis drawn outside her house on the pavement, if this wasn’t bad enough for this respectable housewife, the penis seemed to be pointing towards her house.  Helen claimed that the penis was in-fact due to her husband

moving furniture and scrapping said furniture on the paving stone, you judge for yourself.

http://belle-diaryofahousewife.blogspot.com/2008/09/of-missing-dogs-and-humungous-cock-up.html

Now I don’t know about you but I was never that handy with an etch-a-sketch, let a lone a dresser!

 

Is Pokey too popular?

If any of you have tendencies towards guilt look away now.

No I’m not talking about sexual intercourse….you are a smutty lot!

Nor prison… though it is a slang term in some parts and indeed it’s popularity is at an

all-time high.  Or even a child’s version of poker, though I’m sure in my lifetime

gambling for the under 18’s will be legalized.

 

 No…..This is ideal pet for the busy person or a great idea for kids that are pestering you for one, It’s a computer puppy dog.  If you a member of facebook or myspace

You can at no cost load this program in. You choose your puppy describe him/her and then play.   You give your puppy water and he very cutely comes and gets the water bowl, drags it and a hand fills the bowl with bottled water.  Then you can feed your puppy, which earns you a bone (you uses bones to get more puppy food).  You can also scratch and pet you puppy that earns another bone.   Much credit should go to the creators for making such a life like computer puppy, but perhaps there in lies the rub.  You see I, a grumpy old man started to feel guilty about feeding or not feeding Chocolate the puppy.  Wait a damn minute…then if I spoke to my daughter (5years old) she would ask, “Have you fed Chocolate Daddy?”

And now that my ex is also on Facebook so daddy can be checked up on …to see if he is telling porkies. And if all that guilt wasn’t bad enough other facebook members can stop by and feed your puppy if they think he has been neglected!!!!!!!!

 

Boner revived

The Cerne Abbas giant also know as the rude giant has been in danger of disappearing. Thankfully some concerned volunteers took turns this September to dig and hack at the outline of this most eccentric hill figure, replacing the old, grubby chalk and making sure the figure can be seen from miles around.

Cerne-abbas-giant-500

The job was a tough one. It took about a week for the existing chalk to be excavated to a depth of around 10cm (3in). Seventeen tonnes of new chalk was then be poured in and tamped down by hand. . The 180 ft (55 m) high, 167 ft (51 m) wide figure is carved into the side of a steep hill, and is best viewed from the opposite side of the valley or from the air.  In his right hand the giant holds a knobbed  club 120 ft (37 m) in length.  * Now those are my notes I read and wrote for myself but I’m not quite sure what a knobbed club is?  Chris said it’s a sex club on the outskirts of Watford.  I asked him how he knew that and he just smiled.  I then said like a fool, “Well if you know about this club…what’s it called?

                                                                                         “The Watford Gap”, he answered smugly.